Mental Health in Times of Political Hell
Our mental health is tanking. And for good reason. Many people share with me that It feels like the social contract–the way we experience the world, our sense of safety and basic expectations of people, behavior, and legislation, for example–is broken. People are scared. I am too. As a therapist and a human, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better. In lieu of having the magical powers I’ve always dreamed of, I can offer my thoughts.
I’ll admit: I’ve been in a trance of rage and “othering.” Asking myself, “Who are these other people that think this is ok? What is wrong with people?”
Now, I’m not a HUGE tarot girl, but I entertain it now and then. I pulled this card and was struck by it’s meaning. “We’re all innocent children looking to be seen, understood, and cherished. It’s much harder to grow closer through conflict than it is to grow further apart. And yet that’s the invitation of conflict… It’s more challenging to see the innocence of all involved and find a way to grow closer through the conflict. It’s through relationships that we grow the most. How can you soften your heart and drop your defenses enough to see things from a different point of view? How can you see the innocence of all involved? How can you learn to see the similarities rather than the differences?” I FELT CALLED OUT. But it got me thinking.
The weight of the pain in the world right now feels unbearable
Our friends and neighbors are being abducted. AI is destroying the environment. We FaceTime with people experiencing genocide in Gaza. You get it. You feel it. You feeling the hurt means you are human.
The people in support of mass atrocities need our compassion most of all
As a social worker, I believe in the inherent good in all of humanity. But how am I supposed to see the innocence of all involved when I am filled with such immense rage and despair? How am I supposed to have empathy for people that seem to have NONE?! A part of me knows all humans have reasons for feeling the way they do and they are doing the best they can. And I think truly integrating this knowledge would help heal me and the world. But it’s so hard.
We all have light, love, and humanity at the core of our being that connects us all
I consulted my girl Tara Brach who is the wisest of the wise. “Spiritual trust” is trusting in the innate goodness of all living things. While I’m not the most spiritual person, I believe that at our core, we all have a deep inner love and light. No matter how confused or harmful someone’s behavior is on the surface, no matter how hidden their goodness is, I recognize that, as beings, when we all turn inward, there is an innocence and desire to be good at our core. We are all connected through our greater humanity.
But we all have insecurities, unmet needs, and the tendency to grasp and try to control situations when we are under stress. We can see the core of people is good, but not relationally trust someone to act in a wise way.
The more we see the light in others, the more they feel called to bring their goodness forward
The more we can meet people that are different from us leading from our own sense of compassion, the more we invite others to lead from compassion as well.
This is the only way to heal the world
The greatest revolutionary act of all is empathy. And trust me, the pull toward hatred and derisiveness is tempting. And I’m certainly not perfect at this.
I was once complaining to a supervisor about a difficult person in my life and she asked, “How much must that person be suffering?” I was like, “What do you mean? I am the one suffering. Because of her.” (Lol.) My supervisor reminded me, “People don’t wake up and think, I want to have a bad day and inflict pain onto others. People are doing the best they can with the knowledge and experiences they have had. So consider what she must have gone through for this to be her best.”
It’s a powerful reframe. This belief in the innate goodness of others is now at the core of my beliefs as a therapist.
I wish it wasn’t so hard.
I’m so so sorry this is what it is like to be a human right now. Please remember to rest and care for yourself as much as you can. Rest is resistance!
My gentle challenge to you: How can you zoom out today and remember that all beings share the same love, desire for goodness, and desire for connection at the core of their beings? How can you stretch your capacity for compassion?
I invite you to reach out and share what this brought up for you.